Communication

And ultimately you are always in a relationship with someone.
Even if this is not the case on the outside, you are still communicating with yourself or “inside”.  

Relationships and communication are closely linked. Paul Watzlawick once said: You cannot not communicate.

Communication

What is communication in simple terms?

Communication – the word comes from the Latin word communicatio – is the exchange and/or transfer of information. This can take place verbally, non-verbally or in writing.

What is verbal communication and non-verbal communication?

Verbal communication takes place via language, the spoken word.
Non-verbal communication refers in particular to facial expressions, gestures, intonation (hence the saying “the tone makes the music”) and posture.

What does the sender-receiver model of communication say?

This model was developed by Claude E. Shannon and Warren Weaver in the 1940s and originally comes from the technical field. It poses the question of when communication has been “successful”: if the message that a sender speaks into a transmission device (telephone, cell phone), the message has been correctly received and passed on by the receiver’s device and, ultimately, the receiver receives exactly this message, then the transmission is considered successful.

This neglects non-verbal communication, among other things.

These approaches were significantly expanded by Friedemann Schulz von Thun, who developed the “4 sides of a message” model and also the “4 ears model”.
The former makes reference to the factual content, the self-disclosure and the relationship- as well as the appeal-level of a message.

The 4 ears model is concerned with the perspective of the recipient, i.e. the question of which kind of “ear” (e.g. appeal ear, relationship ear, etc.) someone predominantly “listens with” or receives a message with. Both depend on the respective “black box”, i.e. the sum of the beliefs of both parties, their culture and past, as well as other factors.eit sowie von weiteren Faktoren.

How can the sender-receiver model help to avoid possible misunderstandings in communication?

The model can help – especially the further developments by Schulz von Thun.
However, this is not enough:
It requires an open mind and also a mutual willingness to understand the other person.
In my opinion, Stephen Covey expressed this best in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, in which he refers to the so-called fourth habit of effective [and therefore authentic] people: First understand then seek to be understood.

If both sides approach each other with this attitude, successful communication can develop quite quickly.

Relationships

How can you improve communication in a relationship?

It sounds trivial, but it’s not at all: first clarify whether both sides are willing to do exactly that.
If so, there are a number of very exciting and promising approaches for you.

One of these approaches is the so-called “Transparent Communication”

• In the non-verbal version, this means looking at each other in silence for at least five minutes. Only then should you discuss how you both felt and what happened or is happening on a mental and emotional level.
• In a second variant, you also communicate on a verbal level and tell each other openly and honestly (as a kind of borrowing from honest sharing) what is happening, what you have experienced and what you think and feel. The other person remains silent and listens. Afterwards, he/she tells what he/she has heard, what has been received and also what he/she has felt (what resonates and how?).
  There is then the possibility of a brief correction if something was not exactly “received” or understood. Then the roles are reversed.
  

Another promising approach is the so-called “Honest Sharing”

To put this into practice, you concentrate for ten minutes at a time, on talking about yourself and only yourself – while the other person remains silent and listens.
“About yourself” specifically means how you are feeling physically and what is happening on an emotional level. And thirdly, what thoughts are going through your head.
Be aware that many supposed feelings are actually emotions that your head and your thinking is generating. Nothing is commented on here, only “witnessed”.
After that, there is simply a role reversal.

Why is good communication important in a relationship?

Relationship contains the word “to relate to” – what do you want to “relate” your attention to? 
Who or what do you want to “relate” to? And above all, with what goal or motive?
Answering these questions alone will give you an insight.
And if the quality of the relationship is important to you, then this will also apply to the “correct transfer of messages”.

What is considered poor communication in a relationship?

It is unfavorable when communication in a relationship does not happen with an open heart.
If you know the other person a little or even well, you will also know where their “buttons” are and how you can easily manipulate communication.

The more the communication serves to project your own inner “stories”, the worse it will become – there is no appreciation of the other person as an independent and autonomous individual.

Communication in the Workplace

How can you improve communication in the workplace?

Of course, this depends heavily on your environment and the corporate culture.

The more and clearer those involved communicate “from the inside out” and follow certain principles together, the better the communication will be.
This also includes being able to set healthy boundaries, as well as really focusing all your skills and energy on the goals you have set together.

There are numerous ways to do this:

For example, the approaches described above [link to -> How can you improve communication in a relationship?
The Team Management System (TMS) should also be mentioned: It also emphasizes the
appreciation of differences and is refreshingly geared towards a change of perspective. 

What is verbal and non-verbal communication in the workplace?

The spoken word is “verbal communication” – i.e. the type of language, wording and choice of words used by your boss or colleagues.

In a literal sense, what language do you speak at work?
Non-verbal communication refers to the facial expressions and gestures used to communicate, body language, intonation, voice pitch and the so-called speech melody used to communicate between communication partners in the company.

Non-verbal communication can be an amplifier of what is said – and it can provide information about how honest and authentic someone is with you. In other words, it “decides” how “coherent” the communication is perceived to be.

Would you like to know more? And possibly change something about your communication in the workplace? I would love to hear from you! 

Relationship with myself

Consciousness coaching 

How do we deal with ourselves?

Many people deal with the questions “Who am I and what defines me?”, “What is my purpose?” and “What defines my life?” sooner or later – sometimes because they become more “awake”, sometimes because they are almost forced to do so due to circumstances in their lives.

Consciousness coaching based on the Red Thread principle accompanies you in answering unresolved life questions, towards more joie de vivre, meaningfulness and self-friendship.

First imprint and life questions

For almost all of us, our first relationship with ourselves is strongly influenced by our parents (sometimes even our grandparents), other close caregivers and numerous social influences, especially in the first six years of life. All of this shapes our programs and patterns. It is a kind of “first script “ – like a first screenplay. For many people, it stays that way – sometimes for years, sometimes for decades, sometimes forever.

At the same time, questions can arise: What is life? What is its meaning? What should I wish for? (We often only ask ourselves these questions after a number of other stages in life). How should I deal with myself and life?

Depending on the circumstances, all of this can lead to self-doubt, anxiety or even depressive phases: Then you may not see any meaning in life, are not really satisfied with the way things are and also – perhaps due to disappointment – no longer have any goals in life. If your existence is focused solely on survival, at some point the question arises as to whether that’s all there is to it.

But the good news is that all these phases also offer tremendous opportunities – Opportunities for growth.

Consciousness coaching and growth

One of the biggest misconceptions is that the challenge in such difficult phases is to fight against them (better and better). Physical phenomena may be added to growing disappointments. Then it is hardly possible to let go and really relax. Worse still, as it becomes increasingly difficult to cope, we start to turn to distractions and avoidance mechanisms. Whether it’s TV, the internet, eating too much or even addictive phenomena of whatever kind, the inner motto is: ‘avoid the pain at all costs’!

Stop the vicious circles of your life! I will support you with my extensive knowledge and experience! I am there for you with consciousness coaching in Berlin and also online … 

“It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare, but because we do not dare, it is difficult!”
Seneca

Consciousness coaching and “second script”

Write YOUR own script! Find YOUR own, autonomous calling and free yourself from the patterns, programs and scripts that are not yours, but which still influence you and possibly interfere with your life! I am happy to support you in this! With Roter Faden Coaching I offer you individual support in Berlin, in D-A-CH and also online on your path to deep self-acceptance, authentic clarity, self-compassion and life fulfillment:

Relationship and communication coaching with the Red Thread

As the name suggests, the Red Thread stands for a “holistic” view of things.
As a rule, (almost) everything is connected to everything else and it is worth looking at the many interactions; step by step, it is then important to work your way to the roots of the bottlenecks and challenges.
There are no “aspirin solutions” when working with the red thread – but if you nevertheless engage in a process with yourself, it can become an extremely exciting adventure towards personal growth and personal development.

We can find out whether and how we want to work together in a free introductory meeting.
Are you interested? I am looking forward to hearing from you and please let me know what your main bottlenecks are, I would be happy to support you.